Kirkcaldy

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There's a funny smell in Kirkcaldy. It has nothing to do with the lentil soup I slurped when there, a soup that had me happily cavorting through the town unleashing awesome foghorn-like farts that caused seagulls to scatter with fright. But it is, nonetheless, a funny smell. Kirkcaldy is known as the 'Lang Toun', such is the length of its High Street, some four miles stretching all the way from Linktown through Pathead and Sinclairtown to Gallowtown. Personally, I think some council high heid yin in the past joined all these wee towns together so as to give a memorable big long street that would take folks minds off the smell... 'What's that smell?'
'Oh, it's nothing really, but hey... would you look at our nice long street.'
The smell in Kirkcaldy is a good sign. It means that there is still some industry in the town, and the very industry for which the town was once famous the world over, namely: linoleum. Seemingly, at one point most of the linoleum used in the whole world came from Nairn's Factory. Linseed oil used in the manufacturing process is what causes the smell. It is not a bad smell, merely unfamiliar, and actually fairly pleasant. And the nice thing is that the name Nairn lives on in the world of floor coverings in Kirkcaldy.
So the next time anyone asks you what the smell is, don't say, 'Have you seen our big long street?', say, 'It's linseed oil from the Forbo-Nairn Factory, for here in Kirkcaldy we make linoleum.' And be very proud of that fact.