Glasgow

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Glasgow's no' bad. One of its main attributes is that it is an honest and friendly city; if the citizens don’t like you, they’ll quite happily tell you. If, on the other hand, they take a shine to you then be prepared to be bought copious draughts of ale and called either a big man or a wee man, both affectionate terms determined by the user’s observations on your stature.
As you saunter along the city’s byways you may find yourself greeted by the term, ‘Yawritebigman’ or ‘Yawriteweeman’. The proper reply on such an occasion is, ‘Eyenobad.’ After a while you may feel comfortable in giving the full response, which would be either, ‘Eyenobadbigman’ or ‘Eyenobadweeman.’ But be sure you have ascertained the correct size of the greeter, because while it would be acceptable (and perhaps even a compliment) to call a wee man a big man, it would be quite impolite, and possibly dangerous, to call a big man a wee man. I understand there are training courses available to allow quick and easy evaluation of the Glasgow physique.
The 'big' and the 'wee' thing aside, the city retains a largely Victorian feel, but suffers badly from the modern disease of Internal Combustionitis.