Dunfermline

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Why on earth would I want to go to Dunfermline?, I hear you say. I mean, other than an abbey and a pretty darn good museum, what's the point? Okay, calm down now; you're with friends. Well, em... let me think now... abbey: still standing, and thankfully not ruinous; museum: has a nice pinkish exterior... eh, is that not reason enough?
Nowadays we seem to be caught up in something of a tourism frenzy where attractions that do not have the word 'experience' in their title are clearly not worth visiting. Things are getting so desperate and the word 'experience' bandied around in so slovenly a manner that it's probably only a matter of time before you buy your newspaper in the Newsagent Experience, go for a pint in the Pub Experience, and return for a snorty slumber in the Bed Experience (which will cost you £10 extra in the same way that the Bath Experience did).
Anyway, to Dunfermline, where - if you really need such paltry promotional pampering - you can see The Robert the Bruce Heart Experience and the Big Pinkish Building Experience. And if you get thrown out for complaining, don't blame me. Just put it down to experience.