Ayr

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Ayr's got a beach. It's a good beach, and they keep it in tip-top condition, cleaning the golden sand with big tractory things, and putting out signs to inform you how clean the water is with regard to certain rules and regulations. Ayr needs its beach, because the bulk of tourists visiting the area probably head immediately for nearby Alloway with all its stuff to do with Robert Burns, and the town of Ayr is possibly bypassed altogether by some eager Burns sponges. But the thing about beaches is that they are free. It's not going to cost you tens of pounds to get your family into the beach. You just walk onto it, lie down and sunbathe, or paddle around in the water. 'But,' I hear you cry, 'we dinna get the weather in Scotland.' Well, consider this: do you really think you and your family can put up with mega-delays at airports, having to turn up at some unearthly hour to be 'processed' by a highly stressful security system before sitting in a stupor for what seems like days until your plane is ready? If that's what you want, then just you go abroad. It may take a few years off your life, but I'm sure you'll enjoy it. And if you go, you'll be missing Ayr's other tourist attraction: The Lang Scots Mile. Ayr has to be the only town in the world that can make a tourist attraction from a measured length of Tarmac. But it's a nice mile and, being a Scots one, it's far longer than those teensy-weensy English jobs. And as you stretch those long legs on the Lang Scots Mile there are things to see. The beach, for example. Ayr's got a beach.