Ayr's got a beach. It's a good beach, and they keep it in tip-top
condition, cleaning the golden sand with big tractory things, and
putting out signs to inform you how clean the water is with regard to
certain rules and regulations. Ayr needs its beach, because the bulk of
tourists visiting the area probably head immediately for nearby Alloway
with all its stuff to do with Robert Burns, and the town of Ayr is
possibly bypassed altogether by some eager Burns sponges. But the thing
about beaches is that they are free. It's not going to cost you tens of
pounds to get your family into the beach. You just walk onto it, lie
down and sunbathe, or paddle around in the water. 'But,' I hear you cry,
'we dinna get the weather in Scotland.' Well, consider this: do you
really think you and your family can put up with mega-delays at
airports, having to turn up at some unearthly hour to be 'processed' by
a highly stressful security system before sitting in a stupor for what
seems like days until your plane is ready? If that's what you want, then
just you go abroad. It may take a few years off your life, but I'm sure
you'll enjoy it. And if you go, you'll be missing Ayr's other tourist
attraction: The Lang Scots Mile. Ayr has to be the only town in the
world that can make a tourist attraction from a measured length of
Tarmac. But it's a nice mile and, being a Scots one, it's far longer
than those teensy-weensy English jobs. And as you stretch those long
legs on the Lang Scots Mile there are things to see. The beach, for
example. Ayr's got a beach.